Sweet baby jebus, I kid you not.
I <3 salt. Truly, madly, deeply, if I could subsist on salt and salt alone, I would and happily. ((Though more happily if that salt was delivered via a hunk of chocolate.))
I’d been eyeing the various microplanes that Grace Manufacturing has been throwing our way, for a few years now. Microplanes for hard cheeses. Microplanes for chocolate. Microplanes for nutmeg, for citrus rinds, for salt.
Wait — salt? Yippee! Heck yeah, I bought it!
And Saturday night, TB microplaned Himalayan pink sea salt straight in to my mouth; it was the best sex I’ve ever had.
Of course, there’s a funny little problem with Microplane®’s new high-performance Sea Salt Shaver. When they say its been “specifically engineered to maintain a sharp blade over an extensive period of use with even the hardest of rock salts”, what they actually mean to say is “specially engineered to lose its sharp blade after 5 minutes of use.”
Straight out of the package, this thing could microplane ANYTHING, just by waving it in its general direction. Clementines cowered before the microplane. Nutmeg peed itself. And salt? Turns out scardey-pants salt is the tastiest salt in the world.
But towards the end of dinner, we began to notice something. It was taking longer and longer to grate enough salt. And when we waved the microplane at a clementine, the clementine just lay there, unimpressed.
I was beginning to fear for our Himalayan Pink Salt Lamp, but it turns out they just don’t make 18/8 stainless steel like the used to.